Sixteen and Pregnant

The pregnant sixteen year old girl arrived at the Center with her boyfriend, the father of the baby. They came to go over the first lesson in a series of the Developmental Stages of a Newborn. While other sixteen year old teenagers were busy doing homework or hanging out with friends, they were learning about facts such as, 1) a newborn will sleep most of the day and be awake most of the night, 2) a one month old's eyesight is still developing and only sees objects six inches away, and 3) a baby's birth weight usually doubles by six months of age. Those were just a few of the many things they were being taught, and within a matter of months, would experience firsthand.

I was 26 when I had my first child. At 26, I felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising a child. At 26, I felt like I wasn't prepared or mature enough to be a mother. I cannot imagine being pregnant and having a child at the age of sixteen.

As I met with this young girl and young man I asked them if they knew that their lives would be radically different and that having a baby was a really big deal. The carefree life of a teenager was now behind them. It's probable that they don't have any idea what lies ahead. Both were still students in high school. Both were still living at home with their parents. The young man did not have a job. They were in for a major life adjustment.

While I praise the Lord that they have chosen life for their baby, my heart is saddened that they will have to do some growing up very quickly and the life they're romanticizing about with a new born will soon be dispelled with reality. Newborns have a tendency to cry a lot, wake up many times through the night, and keep you very busy. Diapers need changing, bellies need to be filled, and often they just need to be held. Newborns are totally dependent on their parents for their every need. They need a constant watchful and attentive eye. And then comes toddlerhood!

Will these sixteen year olds be ready to offer their child these things while their friends enjoy the American teen life free from the responsibilities of parenthood? One thing is for certain, they will need a lot of encouragement and guidance. It is my hope that they will be humble and teachable. It is my hope that they will realize they have closed the door on their teenage years and have entered into grown up territory. It is my prayer that they look to the Lord to help them be the responsible parents they will need to be.

It has been said that the stats on abortion are decreasing. This is something to rejoice about. It is also being said that the number of teen pregnancies are on the rise. How will the fact that teens, practically babies themselves, having babies affect the fabric of our culture. How will the children of these teen children be raised, really?

It's kind of a scary thought and makes me wonder what we can do to prevent our teens from getting into this situation. How can our teens abstain from the most intimate act when they live in a sex saturated culture full of relativism and without any moral compass? Is it even possible to expect our teens not to have sex?

While it is right for the church to support the woman with an unplanned pregnancy, I feel it is also still the church's responsibility to tow the line on God's standard of sexual activity. If the church does not, then who will? No one wants to be called out as being judgmental when making statements about another person's sexual life and conduct. But, the Lord has already judged such things. We are merely called to be His mouth piece. What is difficult for me is to know and to find the balance of offering support while pointing to godly standards. Anyone can be accepting and supportive of a sinful life. But it takes moral courage to dare to be different and say as Jesus would say, "Go and sin no more." This is not popular even in our American mainstream churches. And this gives me cause for grave concern not to mention the heaviness I feel in my heart.

I want to make a difference at the Pregnancy Resource Center I volunteer at. But I want to make the right kind of difference that would please my Heavenly Father. I know that the Bible says that His commandments are not burdensome. Instead, when obeyed they offer the promise of life, peace and true joy. I must be intentional about letting others know of God's standard. That is part of how I am to love my neighbor. I must also be intentional to encourage them to repent when they live in a way contrary to God's Word. I am not responsible for their response. I am responsible to be faithful to God and leave the rest to Him.

As I get the opportunity to speak into the lives of more and more pregnant young women outside of wedlock this year, I pray for God's unction and Christ's tenderness to go before me.